Self-Esteem & Dating Sux!

For over a month now I've been doing alot of self-reflection. Alot more than I probably should be doing at one time but it is what it is. I know that I have a good life and I am thankful for every blessing that I have, but I always want more. I have over 100 "friends" on my facebook. I say friends loosely because majority of them are associates or people I use to go to school with. But they're all around my age and I see alot of them getting married and having kids. So of course you measure your success (or lack thereof) by theirs. Obviously when you do that you don't feel like you can measure up and start gettig down on yourself. So, needless to say, I've been getting down on myself. And yes, I already know that I can't be doing that because everybody goes through life at their own pace and blah blah blah. But still, you want those things when you want it and its a let down when you don't feel like you're even close to getting them. I am trying to keep my head up and all that stuff, but it just gets so frustrating at times. Especially since my love-life isn't that great either. Maybe its because the area I live in is not conducive to an African-American woman dating or it could be just me.

Which leads to my next piece of news. Unfortunately, I broke up with my boyfriend. Wish I took the time to learn this guy before I committed to a relationship with him because he turned out to be such a downer. Just a few of the issues he said that I had was socializing skills because apparently I had d-bag exes who didn't require me to engage in conversation with them and just wanted me for my looks so I never acquired the skill, I needed to self-reflect more, and I needed to get a career instead of just a job. That was just a few things he said to me that made me want to kick him in the you-know-what. Anyway, I'm not going to dwell on him and the past.

Fro Hatin'

The other day I went out with my girls to a bar in downtown Miami. At the time, I had done a dry twist out on my hair which resulted in REALLy big hair (see pic). I loved my hair that day though and so did my friends who have wavy to straight hair. And the fact that it lasted a whole day of me being outside in the rain was also a bonus.

Anywho, when we got inside of the bar I noticed a couple of girls to my left. As I was passing them, I heard one say "I hate that..." while pointing at me. I can safely assume it was about my hair because I looked around and there was no one else next to me or behind me and I was pretty much the only non-conforming looking person in there. Yes, I was irritated and I did look at her for a few seconds longer but I soon brought myself back to reality and kept on with my business.

Now, the next incident I don't know if it was a bad thing or a good thing but I wasn't comfortable with it. I was talking to my girl while facing the bar and noticed a really bright flash going off behind me, like a camera of sorts. When I noticed it going off again, I turned around and saw a guy aiming his camera phone in my direction as it was going off. Again, I had to keep on with my business and think nothing of it. But I must admit, I did have this urge to go off on the guy and find out what the deal was. But, I had to regain control of myself and realize that you can't help people who are ignorant and rude.

2 Naturals Get Together and Good Herrr (movie review of Good Hair)

I know my blog is about my naturaly hair journey but this post will also be about my love life. Yes folks, I said it. I have a BF now and coincidentally, he's a natural. He has locs to be exact, but natural nonetheless. He's a wonderful guy and I absolutely adore him!

Recently, we had a short discussion (one of many) about black women and their hair. Basically, he has dated black women in the past and the one thing he couldn't understand or stand is how they allow themselves to be limited by their hair. I'm sure many of you know black women who won't go to the beach/pool, workout, or even have sex for fear of sweating out their fresh perm/relaxer. This was one of a few reasons why he was dating more non-black women than black women and rightfully so. I would be frustrated too if I was limited to certain types of activities I could enjoy with my SO because of their hair!! That's just crazy.

The discussion was prompted by the movie Good Hair, or how my BF likes to say Good Herrr. Lol. Anyway, we went to see the movie (reluctant on his end) and it was informative. Though I wish it had touched on the subject of those of us who don't use chemicals, it was still an interesting movie. I couldn't get over how much money the hair industry makes off black Americans annually. Its a multi-billion dollar industry! I believe it of course, but I just wish that it wasn't so. All of the chemicals, potions, lotions, promise of long flowing luxurious hair are just to get women and men to spend their money in excess. False hope and promise is what drives that industry IMO.

Though I felt it lacked information and thorough research, I still felt that it was done in good taste and enjoyed the comedic satire. I hope the person who decides to make the next Good Herrr does so.

Chunky Twist Out

Hey there. For the past few days I've been thinking about trying something new but not sure what. I've been reading and hearing about twist outs for the longest but never bothered because my hair was too short to do so. Well, since my hair has some length to it now I've decided to try styling my hair.

Today I got the urge to try a twist out. I recently saw a picture of a girl on naturallycurly.com that had recently done a twist out. It looked amazing. She credited her technique to curlynikki.com. After I went to her blog and kinda skimmed over her technique I decided to give it whirl. The funny part is I have a date later and I wanted to see if it would come out good and in time for my date. Lol, gotta laugh because who in their right mind would try a new hairdo last minute and right before a 1st date!? Only me of course.

So, I posted pictures of what it looked like after I did the twist and waited for them to dry:


Keep in mind my date was at 7pm. Meaning, I had to be dressed and leave the house by 6:30. I started the twists at 12:30 and was finished by 1pm. Needless to say, I had some help from the handy dandy blow dryer with the diffuser attachment on the end. However, it worked so I'm not caring how the result was achieved. Just that I had a good result.

Finally, the end result of my hard work. With the help of air drying and the blow dryer:



The end result I think was pretty good for the first time. I'm not usually one to style my hair anyway, so I am really pleased at the extra effort and time I put into this new venture. Take a look for yourself and tell me what you think.

The last set of pictures are of my 2nd day curls from the twist out. Again, pretty awesome I must say! AND 2ND DAY HAIR!!! I'm on a roll ladies! I'm so excited. Take a look at the pics and tell me what you think. Lata curlies!

2nd Day Hair for the 1st Time!!!

Hello everyone! Yes...I know. Its been 2 months since posting and trust me I have been thinking of posting this whole time. But you know how it goes.

Anyway, I just realized right now that I have accomplished something that I've been dying to do for almost 2 years. I have accomplished 2nd day hair!! Yeah me!! I'm so happy I had to share this.

I realized that it's important to make sure I wear a silk cap or scarf every night before I go to sleep. For the longest I would just make sure I was sleeping on my silk pillowcase. But I now realize that I have to wear silk on my actual head to ensure my hair doesn't get damaged by the cotton sheets during the night (I'm a tosser) and to achieve my second day hair. It was great how my morning routine was cut down by 15-20 minutes all because I didn't have to really do anything to my hair. Just fluff and go. Awesome!

See. It was worth the wait, right?

Shedding!!!! Make it stop!

Omg!! Ok, so for the past few weeks now I've noticed my hair has been shedding quit a bit. I mean I know what normal shedding is like but mine is out of control. I stopped using my denman brush and wide tooth comb because of this. So now I just finger comb (if ever) my hair to get the product through it and I come out with both of my hand covered with long strands of curly hair. What is this about?? Also, my hair is super soft. When I say soft, I mean it doesn't feel like it has any elasticity or strength to it. I tested my hair by pulling a strand out from the root and stretching it and it just snapped. No elasticity. I don't know what is going on but this has to stop and fast! The only thing different is the weather. I mean its super hot and humid out so I'm not sure if that has an effect on my hair. But to be honest, my hair never did this when it was alot shorter. My hair barely shed until now. Man, I guess I will have to spend today doing research to figure out what my problem could be. Booooo.

All I can say is WoW!!

Ok, so I'm going to post a picture with this post but I will have to do it later today. I wanted to make sure I did this post today since it's the end of June and I haven't posted anything for May.

In my last post I stated that patience is a b!#@&. Well, I must say it has definitely paid off. The other day I decided to get my hair corn rowed for my trip back home to D.C. this weekend (4th of July). My grandmother is very old school and is not too keen on natural hair. So I figured the easiest way to get around the hair issue is to have it corn rowed when I see her. That way she can't tell what it looks like "naturally". I figure, the less drama the better. Seeing as how I only see my family about 1-2 times a year I try to make my visits as peaceful as possible.

Through some friends, I found someone who would do my hair for me at no charge. Which is great because I am strapped for cash as I'm sure everyone else is these days. So, I asked the girl if she could corn row my natural hair. I offered to straighten it prior to her doing my hair if that would make it easier. She said sure if I could do it then go ahead and straighten my hair. I couldn't believe I offered to straighten my hair! I hadn't put a blow dryer to my head in that manner in over 2 years. So I freaked out a little but I was ok. I almost forgot how to do it!! Anyway, the final results:


I couldn't believe how long my hair became especially since my last post. I know I didn't post pictures last time but I will here so you can see. Its crazy what a difference 2-3 months will make. The only thing I'm doing differently is drinking ALOT more water, taking a multi-vitamin every day, working out 3-5 days a week, and my diet is more clean. So, I guess it's true when they say what you put in is what you get out of your body.

Patience is a ....

I really want shoulder length curly hair. I've been natural for about 2 years now and have become more comfortable with my hair. I've minimized the cutting and styling I use to do even though I love short hair. And started to actually take care of my hair by making sure its constantly moisturized, not using shampoo too often, and sleeping on a satin pillow case. But I must say, curly hair takes so much longer to grow out than straight hair. I know its because of the coils and the shrinkage but damn! This is madness! I still have my moments when I want to straighten it with chemicals and call it a day. Luckily, many of my wavy/straight hair friends like my hair better this way than when it was straight which helps keep me focused on my goal. I also google alot of sites where people blog about having patience in letting their hair grow so I don't feel so alone.

But on a positive note, my hair has grown a few inches since my last update. As much as I want to do a photo update for you all, I'm going to have patience :) and wait until August or September to post another photo of myself. And then I'll post a final hair update at Christmas or soon after. Just before the new year. Until then, talk to you soon and please please please suscribe. Thanks!

Moroccan Oil

As I have already mentioned, there is a store I go to in South Beach that carries a few different brands of curly hair products. I found a new one called Moroccan oil. From what I read, this line started with just the Moroccan oil itself and in 2007 started expanding the line with other products. I googled the product for reviews and so far they have been raving.

I bought the Intense Curl Cream (shown above). I can't really give my own review on it just yet because my hair takes a while to adjust to a new product so I want to give it a chance. But when I initially used it on my wet/damp hair, I could feel how moisturizing right away it was and it wasn't heavy like some oils can be. But the price isn't something to rave about at $30 for a 10.2 fl oz bottle. Then again, I was researching on Amazon.com and found the same product for $23 so I guess it depends on where you get it.

So that's my latest product discovery. Hope you enjoyed my semi-review and I will be back to give an official review of this product. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure to comment and/or suscribe.

Found a New Love

Ok, so I live in Miami Florida where the humidity is pretty much year round. Because of this, my hair requires special attention. The humidity makes my hair coil up so tight and dries it out so quickly as a result of the salt water in the air. Normally, I would have to order my products online (see previous post)in order to combat this problem. Luckily, I have found a local store that carries alot of the same products I normally would have to buy online. The store is called Ricky's NYC on Lincoln Rd in South Beach. Since I live about 5 minutes away it's easy to get to. I LOVE this store!!! They have so many curly hair products that I find on naturallycurly.com so it eliminates the shipping charges. That for me is a $30 savings at least. Since they don't sell Blended Beauty, I had to try something else that is available in the store. Well, I came across Mixed Chicks products. Another woman who was in there shopping for products as well recommended the leave-in conditioner. I had tried a sample before but wasn't really sure about it. She swore by it and said its really great. Mind you, she had curly hair but her curls were a little bigger and she is caucasion. Even still, curls are curls and they all need hydration. I figured why not give it a try again. Needless to say, I'm in love. My hair is so hydrated and the curls are pretty much perfect while staying touchably soft. I can't believe how great my hair feels. I'm so glad that this store exists and carries such great products. The great thing is, no matter the texture of your curls this product will soften your hair and perfect your curls. Today is a great hair day!

Long time no Blog

So it's been a while since I blogged. I feel bad but I've been going through so much, and so has my hair, lol. Just wanted to give you a picture update on my hair. I've decided to stop cutting it. I'm going to let it grow and see what potential it has as it becomes longer (and curlier!). I'm growing my in love with my hair now. After doing all the crazy hair dyes and cuts, I'm finally ready to just let my hair be and grow without disturbing it. I guess you could say it was all a phase and something I just needed to get out of my system. I love to change things up so I guess that's why I went through the whole color and cut phase. Though I had fun, looking back at the pics I was wondering what on earth was I thinking?! But I have to remember that I had a curiosity that I had to kill so I could finally be happy with myself and my hair. So, as promised, here are some of the latest pics of my hair (and me!). Comments are welcomed and thanks for reading my blog.

Clubbing in Miami

Ok, so I live in Miami and as many of you know it's the land of the "beautiful" people. Well, I'm not your typical beautiful person. I have short natural hair which is a light brown right now. I use to have unnaturally colored hair (thanks to manic panic) in bright blood red called Vampire Red. But, I saw some pictures of my hair with that color and I wasn't feeling as fabulous as I did originally, so I went back to natural colors. Anywho, I find myself not knowing what to wear when I go out to the Miami night clubs because I don't feel that my hair matches the outfits I want to wear. Does that sound funny? Let me give you an example.



The problem isn't the body because I know that part is under control. Its just that I don't feel my hair matches the outfits. Yes, some or all of you may think these outfits are pretty skanky, trashy, slutty, etc but this is what is worn in hot Miami. I just don't feel my hair matches the outfits. I don't know why. I know my hair is fabulous in all of its natural glory. I love my hair! I guess its a little bit of the insecurity still lingering. I want to know if anyone has some advice for me. I just can't seem to kick these thoughts of unworthiness due to my hair. I feel like I have to be covered up when I go out at all times. Maybe I should try styling my hair, but I feel like my hair is still a little too short to style. I mean, I could do the faux mohawk with corn rows on the side. Only problem is I don't know how to corn row my hair. Help!!

No Substitutions

In a previous post I talked about the great natural, yet expensive, products I use on my hair and the substitutes I've found in regular stores. Well, for the past month or two I have been using the substitutes and they aren't doing my hair any good. My hair was very rough and just not healthy. So I have spent the money to buy my regular products again. Immediately, I saw a drastic change in the behavior and feel of my hair. The moral of this story, spend the money on good products. Short cuts are bad.

What to do when you don't have money for your products?

I'm not a millionaire by any means. I make enough money to keep me living on my own comfortably. But I have come across situations from time to time when I've had to make a choice between paying bills or getting my usual hair products. I hate to say it, but these "natural" products are expensive! I love them though. They make my hair feel good and smell good too. No build up. No problems, but they aren't cheap. I have tried alternatives, but they're nothing like the good stuff. So what is a curly, coily girl to do?? The products I love to use are as follows:

Blended Beauty Curl Styling Butter

Blended Beauty Cleansing Conditioner

Curly Hair Solutions Curl Keeper

Curly Hair Solutions Silk Leave-In Conditioner

Ouidad Water Works Specialty Shampoo


After being a PJ for the first year, I finally found the products that work for me. And I realized that I use so often that I must buy the largest size possible in order to keep down on the shipping costs. I usually try to buy them all on curlmart.com to cut down on shipping, but it still becomes expensive. Luckily, products like Ouidad Water Works Specialty shampoo and Curly Hair Solutions Curl Keeper I don't have to buy all of the time. But the other products I do buy often. The total cost for everything I just listed at the largest size available and shipping from curlmart.com would be almost $150! And that price doesn't include the 1 liter for the Curly Hair Solutions Silk Leave-In conditioner ($35.50 price difference!) and the Ouidad Water Works Specialty shampoo. The shampoo I have to buy from Ouidad.com. In total, I'm racking up close to $200 bill just for hair care products. Unbelievable what I have to spend to get great products. I've tried to find places where I live to buy them so I don't have to pay for shipping, but that doesn't work. I am happy to say that I don't spend that much ALL of the time, but its still expensive.

Like I said before, I do try to find alternatives because its unreasonable to have to spend that much money on hair care products all of the time. So I tried to do some bargain shopping and I found a few things I liked, but still don't like them as much as the products I buy online. They are as follows:


Sunsilk Captivating Curls conditioner

Garnier Fructis Instant Melting Conditioner


But that's all I have found so far as substitutes. They are no more than $3 each and the sunsilk last a little longer. But I have to use one as my leave in and the other for my co-wash. The thing I don't like about them is that I have so much buildup after 2 weeks that I have to wash my hair more often than I would have if I was using the other more "natural" products. Oh what am I to do? It would be easier if I could have a great paying job so I wouldn't have to worry about the cost of my products. Or just buy in bulk and deal with how much it costs to have fabulous, healthy curls. What do you do?

The 1st Year

I just wanted to take some time for you all to see my curly hair journey during my first year. Keep in mind, it was a HUGE change for me as I'm sure it was for alot of african american women who decided to take the same journey. Enjoy the slideshow and feel free to comment. If you want to leave comments on my individual pics, please visit my album:

My first year as a Curly

My Straight life.

Let me start by saying I liked having unnaturally straight hair. I guess you could've called it my pride and joy because everyone thought I was Indian or something. Somehow I made it look extra shiny and "white" like. Well, in April of 2006, on a whim, packed my stuff and moved to Miami. Very bold move might I say. I was of course single and not looking for a relationship at all. I met a young fella (who will be nameless) whom I started dating. As we were dating, I ended up moving in with him which is where he saw my routine for getting my hair unnaturally straightened hair perfectly coifed whenever we were to go out. One night he asked me, why did I do all that stuff to my hair? You know, I had been unconciously asking myself the same question, but never answered it. He asked me why did I spend so much time manipulating and altering my natural hair? Why don't I just let my hair grow naturally. So yes, I was inspired by my now ex-boyfriend to go natural. And just a side note, he is white!

January 9, 2007 I went to my local haircuttery and found somone to chop off alot (not all) of my hair. I figured why transition? But to be honest, I didn't know about transitioning so it wouldn't have made much of a difference anyway. At the same time, I always wanted one of those really short pixie cuts so this was a good time to experiment. This is when I officially began my naturally journey.