Self-Esteem & Dating Sux!

For over a month now I've been doing alot of self-reflection. Alot more than I probably should be doing at one time but it is what it is. I know that I have a good life and I am thankful for every blessing that I have, but I always want more. I have over 100 "friends" on my facebook. I say friends loosely because majority of them are associates or people I use to go to school with. But they're all around my age and I see alot of them getting married and having kids. So of course you measure your success (or lack thereof) by theirs. Obviously when you do that you don't feel like you can measure up and start gettig down on yourself. So, needless to say, I've been getting down on myself. And yes, I already know that I can't be doing that because everybody goes through life at their own pace and blah blah blah. But still, you want those things when you want it and its a let down when you don't feel like you're even close to getting them. I am trying to keep my head up and all that stuff, but it just gets so frustrating at times. Especially since my love-life isn't that great either. Maybe its because the area I live in is not conducive to an African-American woman dating or it could be just me.

Which leads to my next piece of news. Unfortunately, I broke up with my boyfriend. Wish I took the time to learn this guy before I committed to a relationship with him because he turned out to be such a downer. Just a few of the issues he said that I had was socializing skills because apparently I had d-bag exes who didn't require me to engage in conversation with them and just wanted me for my looks so I never acquired the skill, I needed to self-reflect more, and I needed to get a career instead of just a job. That was just a few things he said to me that made me want to kick him in the you-know-what. Anyway, I'm not going to dwell on him and the past.

Fro Hatin'

The other day I went out with my girls to a bar in downtown Miami. At the time, I had done a dry twist out on my hair which resulted in REALLy big hair (see pic). I loved my hair that day though and so did my friends who have wavy to straight hair. And the fact that it lasted a whole day of me being outside in the rain was also a bonus.

Anywho, when we got inside of the bar I noticed a couple of girls to my left. As I was passing them, I heard one say "I hate that..." while pointing at me. I can safely assume it was about my hair because I looked around and there was no one else next to me or behind me and I was pretty much the only non-conforming looking person in there. Yes, I was irritated and I did look at her for a few seconds longer but I soon brought myself back to reality and kept on with my business.

Now, the next incident I don't know if it was a bad thing or a good thing but I wasn't comfortable with it. I was talking to my girl while facing the bar and noticed a really bright flash going off behind me, like a camera of sorts. When I noticed it going off again, I turned around and saw a guy aiming his camera phone in my direction as it was going off. Again, I had to keep on with my business and think nothing of it. But I must admit, I did have this urge to go off on the guy and find out what the deal was. But, I had to regain control of myself and realize that you can't help people who are ignorant and rude.

2 Naturals Get Together and Good Herrr (movie review of Good Hair)

I know my blog is about my naturaly hair journey but this post will also be about my love life. Yes folks, I said it. I have a BF now and coincidentally, he's a natural. He has locs to be exact, but natural nonetheless. He's a wonderful guy and I absolutely adore him!

Recently, we had a short discussion (one of many) about black women and their hair. Basically, he has dated black women in the past and the one thing he couldn't understand or stand is how they allow themselves to be limited by their hair. I'm sure many of you know black women who won't go to the beach/pool, workout, or even have sex for fear of sweating out their fresh perm/relaxer. This was one of a few reasons why he was dating more non-black women than black women and rightfully so. I would be frustrated too if I was limited to certain types of activities I could enjoy with my SO because of their hair!! That's just crazy.

The discussion was prompted by the movie Good Hair, or how my BF likes to say Good Herrr. Lol. Anyway, we went to see the movie (reluctant on his end) and it was informative. Though I wish it had touched on the subject of those of us who don't use chemicals, it was still an interesting movie. I couldn't get over how much money the hair industry makes off black Americans annually. Its a multi-billion dollar industry! I believe it of course, but I just wish that it wasn't so. All of the chemicals, potions, lotions, promise of long flowing luxurious hair are just to get women and men to spend their money in excess. False hope and promise is what drives that industry IMO.

Though I felt it lacked information and thorough research, I still felt that it was done in good taste and enjoyed the comedic satire. I hope the person who decides to make the next Good Herrr does so.

Chunky Twist Out

Hey there. For the past few days I've been thinking about trying something new but not sure what. I've been reading and hearing about twist outs for the longest but never bothered because my hair was too short to do so. Well, since my hair has some length to it now I've decided to try styling my hair.

Today I got the urge to try a twist out. I recently saw a picture of a girl on naturallycurly.com that had recently done a twist out. It looked amazing. She credited her technique to curlynikki.com. After I went to her blog and kinda skimmed over her technique I decided to give it whirl. The funny part is I have a date later and I wanted to see if it would come out good and in time for my date. Lol, gotta laugh because who in their right mind would try a new hairdo last minute and right before a 1st date!? Only me of course.

So, I posted pictures of what it looked like after I did the twist and waited for them to dry:


Keep in mind my date was at 7pm. Meaning, I had to be dressed and leave the house by 6:30. I started the twists at 12:30 and was finished by 1pm. Needless to say, I had some help from the handy dandy blow dryer with the diffuser attachment on the end. However, it worked so I'm not caring how the result was achieved. Just that I had a good result.

Finally, the end result of my hard work. With the help of air drying and the blow dryer:



The end result I think was pretty good for the first time. I'm not usually one to style my hair anyway, so I am really pleased at the extra effort and time I put into this new venture. Take a look for yourself and tell me what you think.

The last set of pictures are of my 2nd day curls from the twist out. Again, pretty awesome I must say! AND 2ND DAY HAIR!!! I'm on a roll ladies! I'm so excited. Take a look at the pics and tell me what you think. Lata curlies!

2nd Day Hair for the 1st Time!!!

Hello everyone! Yes...I know. Its been 2 months since posting and trust me I have been thinking of posting this whole time. But you know how it goes.

Anyway, I just realized right now that I have accomplished something that I've been dying to do for almost 2 years. I have accomplished 2nd day hair!! Yeah me!! I'm so happy I had to share this.

I realized that it's important to make sure I wear a silk cap or scarf every night before I go to sleep. For the longest I would just make sure I was sleeping on my silk pillowcase. But I now realize that I have to wear silk on my actual head to ensure my hair doesn't get damaged by the cotton sheets during the night (I'm a tosser) and to achieve my second day hair. It was great how my morning routine was cut down by 15-20 minutes all because I didn't have to really do anything to my hair. Just fluff and go. Awesome!

See. It was worth the wait, right?

Shedding!!!! Make it stop!

Omg!! Ok, so for the past few weeks now I've noticed my hair has been shedding quit a bit. I mean I know what normal shedding is like but mine is out of control. I stopped using my denman brush and wide tooth comb because of this. So now I just finger comb (if ever) my hair to get the product through it and I come out with both of my hand covered with long strands of curly hair. What is this about?? Also, my hair is super soft. When I say soft, I mean it doesn't feel like it has any elasticity or strength to it. I tested my hair by pulling a strand out from the root and stretching it and it just snapped. No elasticity. I don't know what is going on but this has to stop and fast! The only thing different is the weather. I mean its super hot and humid out so I'm not sure if that has an effect on my hair. But to be honest, my hair never did this when it was alot shorter. My hair barely shed until now. Man, I guess I will have to spend today doing research to figure out what my problem could be. Booooo.

All I can say is WoW!!

Ok, so I'm going to post a picture with this post but I will have to do it later today. I wanted to make sure I did this post today since it's the end of June and I haven't posted anything for May.

In my last post I stated that patience is a b!#@&. Well, I must say it has definitely paid off. The other day I decided to get my hair corn rowed for my trip back home to D.C. this weekend (4th of July). My grandmother is very old school and is not too keen on natural hair. So I figured the easiest way to get around the hair issue is to have it corn rowed when I see her. That way she can't tell what it looks like "naturally". I figure, the less drama the better. Seeing as how I only see my family about 1-2 times a year I try to make my visits as peaceful as possible.

Through some friends, I found someone who would do my hair for me at no charge. Which is great because I am strapped for cash as I'm sure everyone else is these days. So, I asked the girl if she could corn row my natural hair. I offered to straighten it prior to her doing my hair if that would make it easier. She said sure if I could do it then go ahead and straighten my hair. I couldn't believe I offered to straighten my hair! I hadn't put a blow dryer to my head in that manner in over 2 years. So I freaked out a little but I was ok. I almost forgot how to do it!! Anyway, the final results:


I couldn't believe how long my hair became especially since my last post. I know I didn't post pictures last time but I will here so you can see. Its crazy what a difference 2-3 months will make. The only thing I'm doing differently is drinking ALOT more water, taking a multi-vitamin every day, working out 3-5 days a week, and my diet is more clean. So, I guess it's true when they say what you put in is what you get out of your body.